So, I had a real bummer of a day the other day. The sort that sets a trend for the next few and there is nothing you can do about it. The memory of the day replays in my head like a bad sit-com, or like watching the Cable Guy. Just a horrible time, but there is no pause, stop or fast forward.
What makes this note-worthy is that I couldn’t “run it off.” This is usually my “Cure-all” or how to fix bad moods, drop anger, run through disappointment, etc.. What was a first, was I was in such a foul mood that there was no getting up and running. I could only focus on how long I COULDN’T run.. How fast I WASN’T.
Expectations, whether they be based in running or in other aspects of life – can often be a way of shooting ourselves in the foot. I have goals that I am working toward, and “Expect” to reach. But these are things that I actively work toward, understand what could lead toward failure and try to plan to avoid those items. But “expectations” are different from goals. Goals we know the risk of failure, while expectations are like goals but with out that part. Simply assumptions that things “will” go a certain way. Maybe its the expectation that running a certain race won’t be a problem, yet we dont’ consider heat levels, or adjusting to minimalist shoes. When we fail at goals, we can be disappointed, but usually it’s not a huge surprise, and alternate plans are in place.
With an expectation, that failure may never have entered my mind. With the failure of some thing that was simply expected to happen – the shock send me reeling and can floor me. Herein lies the flaw. Nothing is certain. There is a movement of some runners to “run smiley” – Failed expectations can really hurt that.
Today? Today I will get back out there and run with a huge smile on my face. The time/distance won’t matter. I am just going to have fun and enjoy the road going by and my five fingers flying… And will get back on this road with life itself. When someone asks me how I am doing – I will again be “Outstanding” — because it is the choice I make.
Not my usual sort of post, I know. I haven’t even gone back and editted the phrasing or quality of the sentences.. It is what it is. Its more of a stop in the road to turn around and get back to where I need to be!